Garnerisms

I've been trying to record a few of the funny things Garner says over the past few months. I love sharing these things with the people who know Garner because of the way he has of brightening our days. Honestly, it would be difficult to have a "blue" day with Garner around. He is loving and kind and FUNNY. If your self esteem is a bit low, come spend a few days with Garner. He'll build it right up for you. Little G., I hope you never change. Here they are:

"Mom, I want another baby. I want a BLACK BABY!! Do you think someone would give us a black baby?"

"Hey Mom. Why are those two things at the top of your legs called butt cheeks?"

"Mom, have you ever had an apple on a stick?" "You mean a caramel apple?" "You're saying there's caramel on that apple?" "Yes, Garner." "I got to get me one of those!"

"Mom, you bringed me 100 joy!"

"Hey, Mom. Can you unregister me from school?"

"Why do I need to go to school anyway? I already know everything."

Upon waking up for the 3rd day of school: "What? It's a school day AGAIN! How many days do I have to do this??"

"When is it going to snow?" (The kids told him that he wouldn't have to go to school on a snow day.)

I've gotten more phone calls from Garner's teacher than I've ever received TOTAL with the other three. One, more disturbing than the others. His teacher told me that he lifted up a girl's dress at recess. SO, I had a little talk with G when he arrived home. This is what he said:

"But Mom. She was so annoying. She just talks and talks and talks. And it was my turn and she wouldn't leave so I lifted up her dress because I was SO MAD and I knew I couldn't hit her. It's all I could think of!"

McKenna, Cole and Garner wrestle for fun. Almost always, though, it turns into more of a real fight than just fun. It's Cole and Garner against McKenna. Brian was mediating one day when Cole came down with tears. He let each of them tell their story of what happened. After the boys spoke, it was McKenna's turn. She said: "Garner is so tough. He's not afraid of ANYTHING." Then Garner piped in: "I'm afraid of skunks."

Part of what makes Garner's comments so funny is the timing of them. For example, he came over to the side of our bed in the middle of the night because he was thirsty. I got up and helped him get a little drink. While I was walking him back to his bed, he asked: "So how did Adam and Eve take care of all those babies?" I told him I'd tell him in the morning. Guess what? He didn't forget.

Garner, Izzy and I went for a walk together. Garner rode his scooter and I pushed Izzy in the jogger. After a while, Garner's little thigh muscle was hurting. We had one more hill to go up. When we got to the top, Garner breathlessly called out to the world: "World, if there's going to be a freaking uphill, then there'd better be a downhill next."

Here is Garner's latest Lego creation. The only way he'll take it apart and put it away is if I"ll take a picture. So here's your masterpiece, Garner!